Not Confident? Gain it by being Competent
Not Confident? Get it by being Competent Competence is different than confidence. Being competent is defined as having “sufficient skill, knowledge, experience” or “the ability to do something successfully.” Confidence is a strong belief, being sure of oneself. Becoming competent, like Taylor Swift putting together her greatest songs and a show, is doing a task or skill over and over, refining it and polishing it, and with that, one develops knowledge and experience. One becomes aware of the intricacies, details, and patterns of how to conduct themself…and a sense of confidence grows. I can do this well. Now, when it comes to a young athlete performing in front of an audience, under pressure, that’s a different scenario. Let’s say it’s the day of competition with competitors, officials, and an audience. Your athlete gets a stomach ache, she doesn’t want to fail or let anyone down, she suddenly feels unsure. She feels nervous, and she lacks confidence. Nervousness is natural for competition, but the question is whether they can manage it and still perform well. Competence in doing a skill or routine does not equal competence in performing under pressure. To compete well, there must be a practice of entering competition with a clear mindset: I am ready and I’m going to do well. If they don’t feel ready, then they are not prepared. Your athlete must have competence in managing her thoughts and emotions. Question: Do your athletes practice managing their thoughts and feelings? Do they practice changing “I’m nervous” to “It’s okay, everything will be okay. I’m ready and I can do this” and do they believe it? When an athlete spends all of their time training the physical aptitudes, they will not have competence in mental skills and managing nervousness. When your athlete is nervous, has doubts, fights to have courage but she’s afraid of making mistakes, this is a clear sign – she not only lacks confidence, but she lacks competence in her abilities; her ability to stay in the present moment; her ability to focus on one skill at a time; her ability to breathe in and out slowly and feel calm; her ability to trust that her body knows what to do; and her ability to focus on her own performance instead of the judges or audience. If you wonder, “How can I help my child build confidence?” expose them to mental training. Do it with them, practice breathing in and out slowly with them. Practice positive self-talk each day, “I am calm, I am smart, I am strong.” Practice visualizing in slow motion easy skills that they know they can do. Confidence grows as kids feel competent, when they feel smart and in control of themselves. I can calm my nervous system by breathing slowly, in and out, and imagining I’m at the ocean. I feel safe, and I feel in control of my thoughts, my breath, and my body. Becoming competent in managing personal thoughts, and feeling in control, is not only for sports, but it’s for child development. It’s a life-long journey. Teach kids how to look at a challenge and think of options. Teach them that challenges are great! They are an opportunity to think and make decisions and feel good. Hurray! This helps them build competence in problem solving. Figuring out a problem is not something for the adults only, this is something to discuss and share with kids. In relation to their age, allow them to make choices – what food to put in their lunch, how to organize their backpack, closet, or their schedule, and praise them for their effort! Not the result. If a young athlete thinks and says, “I know how to look at options, I know how to manage a struggle, I can get through it, and I am resilient,” that tells me they can manage making a mistake. Have them repeat those words three times. Really. Because it also transfers to sports. As they learn how to manage their thoughts and emotions, I see a young person who is using their mind and their voice. And in that moment, I see their confidence growing, because they are learning to become more competent. Lisa Mitzel is an author, mental training- and mental health coach. Consider buying her Focused books for you and your kids to learn mental skills and increase self-awareness, self-confidence and mental health.
A New Awakening with Young Coaches
A New Awakening with Young Coaches by Lisa Mitzel, President, Zen Tiger Mind Kyla Ross, Olympian, NCAA National Champion, and current assistant coach at University of Arkansas, is an example of young coaches today. There are a number of former college gymnasts who now coach, and I recently learned that a few current college gymnasts are planning to become coaches in gymnastics. This is a shot of cool. After the NCAA National Championships in April, I spoke to three women gymnasts in Fort Worth who competed in the meet: two rising 5th-year seniors who want to coach, and a third, a rising junior, who wants to become a sport psychologist. These women are not only talented and determined, but very smart. They are committed to education, healthy training, and have worked with sport psychologists in their gymnastics career. They’ve struggled through injury, pushed their bodies to the limits, and endured years of strict regimens to reach their goals. These mental and physical experiences have been great teachers alone. But looking outside of gymnastics, as human beings, they’ve also grown up with a scope of collective pain and uprising in the world: school-gun violence, March for our Lives, Black Lives Matter, injustices against women, the visceral trauma in the Larry Nassar case, the rise in teen suicides, Simone’s vulnerable “twisties” at the Olympics, and the losses and mental health issues from COVID-19. For any human, these are major events. College gymnasts today are part of a wave of young adults and future coaches who’ve seen a lot of human strength, vulnerability, pain, and suffering. As these women graduate and begin the path of coaching or working in sport psychology, they have a great opportunity to forge a new awakening in sports. As they move into a professional work life, they’ll be looking through a unique lens, standing up for those who are smaller and weaker or don’t have a voice. They can lead with passion and contribute their voices to the gymnastics culture for young girls and boys who need inspiring adults to guide them. It is not a trivial or simple task to “be the future of gymnastics.” It is a brave process to create real change, which requires persistence and a sound connection to human values. As a former NCAA competitor, myself, I know the transition into coaching is exciting, humbling, and a lot of hard work. But I put my trust in these college women gymnasts, because I see and hear maturity and compassion in them; I see the light in their eyes. For the rest of us, it’s letting go of our ego as young coaches step up. It’s important to honor them, their real experiences, and welcome their energy, ideas, and point of view. Finally, for mental health and wellness in gymnastics, and for changing the culture, I believe these women — soon to be coaches — will lift us up to new heights. So do not only cheer for these college gymnasts, but open your hearts and minds to them as leaders of the future. #
“Coach Lisa! Did You See Me!”
“Coach Lisa! Did You See Me!” by Lisa Mitzel, President, Zen Tiger Mind A few years ago, I had a temporary gig to coach a team of level 4 gymnasts in the springtime. It was upgrade season, or “play time” in gymnastics to learn new skills. And while the owner was looking to hire a new coach, I was the sub. The nine girls I coached were 8-11 years old, and they were starting to do bigger tumbling skills on floor: side aerials, punch front tucks, and the big kahuna, round-off, back handspring, back tuck. Technically, these girls needed a lot of work. But my goodness, how they were ready to send their bodies flying through the air! One day, their energy was popping off the gym walls. I told them, “Choose a skill you want to learn, and I’ll help you.” With happy eyes, they took turns, attempted flips, and giggled. They looked at me and said, “Coach Lisa! Did you see me! I almost landed on my feet!” They tumbled, flipped, and landed in the soft resi-pit, first, and quickly they wanted to do the skills on the hard floor. I felt like a kid myself, watching them, coaching, and cheering for them. I had nearly forgotten the childhood thrill of punching into the air and doing new flips with my body. Practice became organized chaos as I let the girls “play.” I requested they focus on small technical improvements. Tiny ones. I complimented them, I reminded them to focus, and abracadabra, they got better! I was so happy, I said, “You’re so close, I know you can do it!” After one girl made a side aerial for the first time, she ran to another coach and shouted, “I did it! I learned a side aerial!” And she ran back to do more. What was happening was incredible—it was freedom. Freedom to take risks, flip, and fly. Freedom to play in the gym, instead of quietly following instructions. Freedom to try something new, learn from mistakes, and just feel excited about learning. Five out of nine girls learned a new skill that day, and their confidence got a big boost. Isn’t it amazing what kids can do when we mix in the ability to choose and the freedom to play? As I wrote in the blog “A Partnership Across the Ocean,” Zen Tiger Mind and Quatro Gymnastics have a mission to support gymnasts in developing healthy minds and bodies and confidence in gymnastics and life. #
Kristina Williams is Leading
Kristina Williams is Leading Interviewed by Lisa Mitzel, ZTM President L-R: Yuka Sugiura, Kristina Williams, Lisa Mitzel She coached at other gyms, she had her own ideas, and then decided to break away and in 2019, she started her own gym. Why? “As a coach, I never wanted to work for a boss. I wanted to work for a leader.” And to Kristina Williams, the owner of Los Gatos Elite in Los Gatos, California, a leader is not someone who focuses on success, but rather someone who truly inspires incredible growth and positive change. So now she is leading her staff and gym families toward personal and professional growth. Is it difficult developing your staff? Monitoring and, at times, correcting is not fun. Kristina said, “I don’t like having uncomfortable conversations.” It’s definitely a weakness. But, she said, “I seek out my weaknesses. I’ve intentionally done a lot of ‘self work’ for my own growth.” Regarding parents: “We also communicate with parents often and organically.I’m always available. Carlo is always available.” Parents watch practice, communication is transparent. Kristina’s open leadership style is a continual effort and yet it leads to a culture of respect and harmony. What about gymnasts feeling fearful? As a young gymnast, Kristina experienced many fears. Now, as an adult, her philosophy as an owner is to teach and model to her staff to help kids through their fears. “Fear travels from event to event and person to person,” Kristina said. “So we go backwards, feel safe first, not second. Give kids the voice to do what feels good to them so they feel successful and in control.” What tools and resources help with leadership? Los Gatos Elite has Zen Tiger Mind’s Mental Power Station with mental exercises, so I asked if it was helping her staff with healthy language and the kids feeling supported and in charge of themselves. Kristina replied: “ZTM is supporting us 100% with positive, supportive language. In giving coaches the space and the language to help the gymnasts, we are seeing kids develop healthy mindsets and the common language to talk and work together.” What is the vision? “Our Xcel program has a core mission to support the athletes through gymnastics and life. It starts with the vision: It’s okay if a kid repeats a level, or doesn’t compete her dismount on bars.” Every challenge is okay! Don’t get her wrong: “I want to be competitive,” said Kristina. “It’s a sport. We are competitive, we’ve had state champions. We have standards, form, technique, presentation. We have a positive healthy approach with the kids, and we also have standards. But we don’t do gymnastics for the medals. We do it for learning, challenges, growth, and we do it for the fun.” I’m honored to know Kristina and Carlo at Los Gatos Elite. They are a breath of fresh air in the gymnastics world. And they’re not the only ones. I will continue to interview coaches and leaders who are speaking up and creating a new wave of positive, healthy gyms, and training coaches to have compassion. #
Trinity Thomas, Beam, and Present-Moment Awareness
Trinity Thomas, Beam, and Present-Moment Awareness by Lisa Mitzel, President, Zen Tiger Mind In stunning NCAA gymnastics, Trinity Thomas has been one, so exquisite, we can’t keep our eyes off her. Trinity has been perfect on every event, earning a “gym-slam,” and capturing 28 perfect 10s in her career, the highest in NCAA history. Balance beam has been one of her steadiest with 6 perfect 10.0s. Whaaat? How does she do it? Well, her success is deeply rooted in mental training called present-moment awareness. A calm, methodical focus that comes from years of practice and desire. When Trinity performs, there is no effort, only flow. She is nothing short of a master. Each kick, jump, and point have an exact spot in the air. Every leg is locked. Her style is slick, smooth and playful. Her flawless series, a one-arm back-handspring-layout on beam, will blow you away. After thousands of hours of physical training, what it comes down to is one thing: her mind. She desires concentration, fully absorbed in present-moment awareness. In other words, she is in a state of mental immersion in every move. Can you teach this to kids? Yes. It’s not just for the elite gymnasts. It’s a mental checklist or a clock ticking that feels rhythmic and familiar. You can teach kids that it starts with a choice. Say “Shhhh” to distractions, “I’m going to concentrate for one minute.” Focusing is a cool thing. Make it fun and intriguing for kids to hold their attention on one thing at a time. Let’s look at Trinity’s layout series as a checklist she memorized in her mind and body, and imagine. Imagine an inner feeling of exactness that also feels like home. (Read 3x at a slow pace.) Breathe out, sit, brush arms down, swing arms up – push through legs, jump up and back, split legs, see beam – place right hand on beam, step down right, left, sit – jump up and back, stretch in layout, split legs, spot beam – rotate to feet, land right, left, stick. It’s breathing one breath at a time. There is no thought of a past or future breath. Only what’s happening now. It’s a rhythm, and it feels good! Being in the present-moment is a skill Trinity has trained. It’s also a life skill, a mental health practice, to be clear and calm in your mind, not rushing, not trying hard or tensing up. Being in the present moment is cozy, soothing, and it shapes our ability to focus. In my book, Focused and On Fire, I describe this… “…in any situation, it is you and only you who decides what you think about. …you can notice air filling up your lungs, and the air going out of your body… Notice how your chest and abdomen rise on the inhale…then sink and fall slowly on the exhale. Become aware of your body calm in the present moment. This awareness will increase a peaceful, confident feeling inside…and your ability to perform.” #
A Partnership Across the Ocean
A Partnership Across the Ocean by Lisa Mitzel, President, Zen Tiger Mind We are thrilled about our new global partners, Quatro Gymnastics! Who wakes up and finds they have a new partner across the world? Well, I do. When I started my new company, Zen Tiger Mind (ZTM), I knew our mission to integrate mental health into sports would only be as strong as our products and our connection with like-minded people. I wanted to collaborate with other companies yet I didn’t know the steps or how fast the opportunity would come. Well, it arrived quickly! In 2022, in the same month of launching our company, I was in Tampa, FL, and San Jose, CA, which brought me together with reps of many leotard companies. By chance, a coach I know in So California, Tara Treacy, is also a rep for Quatro Gymnastics. She said, “I love your mats and designs. I think our company might be interested in working together.” Soon after, Tara introduced me to Kelly McKeown, President of North America and Global Sales, and Gina Pribil, Director of Marketing in the U.S, and I felt an immediate vibe. These Quatro women are intelligent, kind, and creative go-getters! After several meetings and getting to know each other, I could tell these women got it – that our mission for mental health in gymnastics is simple to practice and really transformational for kids and coaches. They loved ZTM’s fun animal characters, natural scenery, and the mental-health exercises in our Mental Power Station. They said they wanted to see how we could weave our creative ideas together and form a partnership. As the ZTM president, I said a “Yes!”, believing that Quatro was a perfect fit to join us in promoting and advocating for Mental Health and Wellness for young gymnasts everywhere. By the way, I learned that Quatro Gymnastics is not any clothing or leotard business. They are one of the premier performance and training wear companies based in the UK, plus, one of the fastest growing global companies that is family owned and run. For Zen Tiger Mind, it’s like a dream. Like reaching out across the ocean and holding hands with new exciting friends. We collaborated on a super special “mental power” leotard that’s coming out any day now, Quatro is hosting exciting events, “Lights, Camera, Sparkle,” with Zen Tiger Mind products on board, they have the amazing Trinity Thomas and Kara Eaker as superstar ambassadors, and there’s more incredible news to announce for the summer of 2023. So watch the Quatro-Zen Tiger Mind journey! Together we will lift up gymnasts everywhere with incredible training wear and impactful mental tools, and we’ll give kids a better chance to be healthy while reaching their goals. Expand the culture with us! To be Zen, to be free to perform, and feel healthy and beautiful inside and out. #
The Launch
The Launch by Lisa Mitzel Ladies and Gentlemen, the Mental Power Station™ has become real. In the last three years, a raw idea of positive messages on a wall evolved into a clear vision of mental training equipment. And now my new business, Zen Tiger Mind, is officially launching this month! We are now selling our brand new feature product, the Mental Power (MP) Station. A banner, guidebook, and 4 originally designed mats with meaningful animal characters, mental exercises, and to add to that, Mental Power Journals for athletes and kids. Using the MP Station is a daily practice, a mental practice to get through struggles, feel calm and in control, and confident. It’s a “thinking and calming” station that is nothing short of master-level training for kids and teens because they do both – mental training to focus and perform great, and easy practices for mental health and wellness. Plus, the mats are incredible tools for adults. Coaches now have available language to guide children in sports. Mental exercises to repeat during practice and get through challenges. And the ability to power the mind together. It’s important to me that as I launch the business with my team, that our equipment, products, and people exude warmth, professionalism, and compassion for every human being. We are here for you. I welcome each of you with children, or working for the benefit of young people, to notice. Notice that in the “rush of life”, task after task, achieving this and that, if your kids know how to take a breath and release stress, do they know how to feel calm, centered and focused? When they learn to talk to themselves with positive encouraging words, it’s true, they will create new thought patterns and habits. They will even practice words of self-love. Daily, mental practice produces a feeling of control and even inner power. Do you want to model it for them? Maybe you’ll do it together. In one week, we will be at USA Gymnastics National Congress and Tradeshow in Tampa, FL. And at the end of August, we’ll be at USAG Region 1 Congress in San Jose, CA. I’ll be giving demonstrations and I plan to get a lot of orders. It is a thrill and a pleasure to introduce to you Zen Tiger Mind! Innovative equipment and products for mental training and mental health. Playing sports is tough, and life can be overwhelming. But say to your kids each day, “Just breathe… All the power is inside you.” Soon, they will feel that power and they will be telling themselves. #
Thirty Thousand Dollars
Thirty Thousand Dollars by Lisa Mitzel I didn’t know if I’d be able to start my new business, Zen Tiger Mind, in 2022. It was a dream. I hoped. But it was on January 9th of this year, that it suddenly became a real possibility. I was sitting at the large wooden table at my parent’s home in Southern California with my mom and dad and five of my six siblings. One of my brothers, Patrick, attended by Zoom—he recently got COVID. But it was the first time we’d all been together in many years. My parents had asked us to come for an important family meeting, which was quite unusual. We sat around the table in birth order: Sheila, Jimmy, Lisa, Patrick (on the screen), Julie, Mike and Brian. None of us kids knew what to expect, except my parents had said they wanted to share something with us. I had no idea. I always felt blessed, while growing up in my big family with values and a work ethic. We had just enough to get by, and we shared a lot of love and laughter. But this day, something different was happening. At 80 and 84, my mom and dad explained that they’d done really well the past few years in retirement. It was surprising to them and they wanted to give each of us a gift. My mom stood up, slowly walked around the table with a grin, and gave each of us an envelope with our name on it. She said to Patrick on Zoom, “Do you have your envelope?” (They mailed it to him in advance.) He said, “Yes.” My mom sat down and at the same time, we opened up our envelopes… I took out a check, unfolded it and couldn’t believe it. They gave each of us $30,000. I began to cry. A big gift would’ve been $500 or maybe $1000. But $30,000 was just unreal. What a selfless gift, what huge hearts my parents have. What an incredible day! I didn’t know then how much it would cost to start Zen Tiger Mind—from my graphic designer to IP attorney, from my photographer to videographer, to making prototypes, printed materials and buying products, to hiring a marketing team—the list goes on. But guess what. The cost is very, very close to $30,000. What’s more incredible is that the timing to start Zen Tiger Mind seems just right. Through COVID, mental health issues exploded. After Athlete A, Safe Sport, and Simone getting the “twisties,” we now read more about “Humans over Medals.” People are not only more open to mental training and mental health, but coaches and gyms are seeking tools and education to improve coaching and training methods. It seems to be exactly the right time. What I think is the $30K was a once-in-a-lifetime gift. And it’s also a chance to help kids and coaches who need support and guidance. Though I feel nervous some days, doing something new and risky, I keep meditating and repeating a line from my book of Mudras: My courage and self-assurance is unwavering. It helps me release tension and see clearly that this money came to me and it’s now flowing out to you. In the journey of life, money is important, it helps us live. But I wonder if this special money might help change the world. #